the greatest thing in my life is having you

i want you back, but do you?

2009-12-28T07:26:00.002+08:00

day and day has pass. well, it's has been more than a month. i still have not let it go. i cant bear to. i know i do get jealous. that is why i rather not hear from you nor see the stuff from you. i still wish on those special event i still get to be with you. i dont wish to see you as a party girl. but, well i dont have any say. i think ytd you really had a misunderstanding of me. i really do wish to see you. because i was really waiting for you to ask, if u can come over already.but.. well. things has nvr gone well for us. i miss the old self of you. i miss the time we dont know how to party, dont know how to shop. the pure us. but, guess u wan to have all the fun. want to make all the mistake and learn from your own. instead of me nagging. just dont wish to see u getting hurt or being felt left out, tt is why.

i miss you and i'm sorry.

2009-12-27T10:46:00.001+08:00

saw your miss call an saw your message. what do you mean by it? never want to ask. didn't know what you trying to mean. DVD session? am still waiting. didn't know when you are going to meet or what. didn't want to ask, as i don't want to be the one to rush you. day and day I've following you. always wanted to know how have you been. christmas, was just another day for me. wanted to be with you. place booked way back. but, never expect things to happen. when i look back. the picture of you and that guy just keep coming. like how you got the love bite. both of you actually kiss. this has been hunting me. but still i love you.

just hoping and hoping

2009-12-20T14:40:00.001+08:00

days has pass. time has come. day and day. all the flashback keep comin back. all i done just hopin you know how much you mean to me in the past. hoping you will stay by my side no matter what happen.

i still cant accept the fact that you fall for someone else. its just kill me. i cant accept the fact that you started to smoke. its just get me really sad. i did what i could to tell u don't smoke. yet you don;t listen. do you know how much i still love you? how much i want you back here. but, look at yourself? you've change. you never wanted to smoke in the past. you always listen. and not saying those vulgar word. look. i just don't know anymore. everything i do always surround with you. i want to be strong in front of you. but, i guess i am no longer the one that u wan anymore. you don't love me anymore.. you just want more fun in this life while you can. so have all the fun that you can. go with who ever you want to be with. give them what they want and need. because to me right now, I'm already fading out of your life. you don't need me anymore.

all i though when we are together, you are happy. happy that we are always together. but guess that is not the way you wanted. I'm sorry that i cause us to be like this. i just wish time could jus go back now. but guess i'm too late. there are alot of flashback i'm having everyday. i rally don't know what to do.

Now that you're gone

2009-12-16T03:00:00.001+08:00

been really busy. busy with stuff. busy to sort my mind out. trying real had. the harder i try, the further you are. I'm lost. lost of what i should do. I want you so badly. but seem like, it's all over, i can't accept it. but. I think I should get a life. all the best to who you want to be. guess you are happy that i'm no longer by your side. you can do what you want to do. and yet no one nag at you. take care from now on. I'm already walking away from you.

where are you?

2009-12-11T18:11:00.001+08:00

whenever you sms me, or when i really got thing to do, you will keep thinking that you are disturbing me, but you're not. and was hoping we could talk more on the phone seeing you sms in the morning. but all these when i try, all seem to be so cold. I'm really worried about you each and everyday. But just that when i try to see you of what you are doing everyday, wanting to crack jokes with you, and to me you seem to be those can't be bother about me. so at the end, I really don't know what to say.

I know that you are going on holiday. I don't know how to tell or say this to you, I will miss you. even though we are far apart now (really apart) I will hold on to you, and be strong everyday to move on happy. I don't want to let you see the weak side of me anymore, I want you to know that you can count on me and lean on me. Please do take care when I'm not around you. I'm just a phone call away.

P.S. you're not bothering me when you called. In fact, all these while I'm waiting.

just that I care

2009-12-09T12:10:00.001+08:00

I'm an only human. There is so much I could do only. All I could do now is watch and be there. looking at you. do you ever felt the pain? I am true. but yet, the way you look at me. thinking I was bad, thinking I am lying. well, the truth sure will be uncover one day. All those friend telling you what i am. well, they don't know me and you do know me. you know me deep inside. I'm sad, when you needed someone, but you don't look for me anymore. you look for people who can let you feel better at a point of time, but not letting you know what is good for long term. that is why some time i nag so much. i want the best for you for our future. take a look back of you. see how much you change now? how much pain I can take. now the pain is there, but I know I can't do anything.

I am who I am

2009-12-09T03:15:00.001+08:00

Today was another history made. It was Commando 40th Anniversary today:) was an awesome display today. After the parade, went for dinner with Alex, Wei siong and Kelvin. after that we didn't know where to go and yet still want to hang out so catch up with each other. so we when to prawning.

I sms-ed. you seem to be don't care. called, and no answer. I do want to show you I care. but never mind. you take good care alright? and please sleep early tonight. Tml sch at 8 think you should be up at 5.30.

Angel please be there for her tonight to protect her from the night mare. and also tell her i care.

P.S. It's ok if you don't feel like talking to me tonight, there is always another day.

Am just disappointed

2009-12-08T10:10:00.001+08:00

Never expect to end in the first place. After learning, about the end, I would never expect to ended off this way. And yes, I though what i did was good enough for you. but have you ever look back? have you ever felt how much or how good I treat you? I always wanted to package my own girlfriend to look good. I always tried. and when you don't see it or feel it, don't mean that i have never try. all my intention was always good. always put you first in everything.

when things always happen, i always explain. explain to you that things are not like that. but you always think is always me. i could understand, because is normal for human being to think negative. so I never blame you, I though maybe you just felt not love enough. but i had to hear that you no longer love me for about a year. I was really lost. because at the point of time, pain has already numb in me already. adding more more pain to me was just only bearing it longer. is not about saying sorry and everything would be gone.

I know now there is nothing i can do to make you come back. and i don't want to try to make you come back, because every time i try, to you is always like forcing. so I would only love you at one side. waiting and waiting.

P.S. I'm only human. a human with hope.

I never lied.

2009-12-07T16:15:00.001+08:00

went out with you. wanted to be like the past. wanna treat like so special. I don't know what happen to you after you saw my sms. I really got nothing to hide in that. i told you what happen. and you think I'm lying. At this point of time yet this is what you think about me. i told you what i could. i express what i could. I still wish for you to come back. I really want to do as many as i could to get you back. but every time I try and you will think I'm lying to you and stuff. i really don't know what to do anymore. I wish for some help. but I'm really hurt deep down inside of me. and its bleeding. but i still hold on to my gun wound in my heart apply pressure and keep on walking this path to look for you.

P.S I will still wait, because I'm still all around you. look for me when you need to. because the harder i do or try, you don't believe me. take a look back.

Somehow I knew.

2009-12-06T13:01:00.001+08:00

Days are getting tough. yet I’m trying. trying real hard. I know you. you’re not being yourself. I know this is not what you want. yes, I want you real badly, and is my biggest wish. my whole world use to be all about you. I’m already learning, but before i could even learn finish, you are gone.

everyday, I wish you are here right by my side always. never blame you of your doing. can be silly, dumb or stupid. i wanted you so badly as my only wish. i can’t go on further than this.

till now, I realise what kind of friend are real.

everyday, I’m thinking, missing you and everything we use to do.

I can't go any further then this
I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish
Cool,
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day yes, I'm really missin' missin' you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl, what's up, it use to used to be just me and you
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day, yes I'm really missin missin you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl what's up, yo what's up, what's up, what's up
Can you meet me halfway, right at the boarderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
Girl, I travel round the world and even sail the seven seas
Across the universe I go to other galaxies
Just tell me where to go, just tell me where you wanna meet
I navigate myself myself to take me where you be
Cause girl I want, I, I, I want you right now
I travel uptown (town) I travel downtown
Wanna have you around (round) like every single day
I love you alway... way
(I'll meet you halfway
Can you meet me half way)
Right at the boarderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
Let's walk the bridge, to the other side
Just you and I (just you and I)
I will fly, fly the skies, for you and I (for you and I)
I will try, until I die, for you and I, for you and I, for for for you and I,
For for for you and I, for for you and I, for you and I
Can you meet me half way
Can you meet me half way
Can you meet me half way
Can you meet me half way
Meet me half way, right at the boarderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

talked, there is still something you still haven't tell me. never mind.

Just not myself

2009-12-04T09:14:00.001+08:00

where is myself? where have i been too? I’m searching for me. am just been drinking, crying, hoping, wishing, waiting and hurting. thanks friend for being there. i am just lost and cant put it down till now. even when you guys ask, i may tell you all I’m alright and stuff, but i really still haven got it over. i just don’t know what to do. all the flashback that i have. it’s just there.

where is the me where i was cheerful everyday? where was the small boy in every one heart has been? i don’t want to grow up. i want to go back time. this is too painful. i want no worry, no feeling, nothing to think about. i just want to smile to everything.

yes, i wanted you back badly, i wanted you to look the most beautiful, yes, i wanted to give you all the protection. wanted to shower everything just on you. planned everything in future about. yes, there is misunderstanding, and cleared holding on so close and so near. thinking how we started. how sweet was before. it became so weak. wanted to text you. wanted to call you. wanted to know what happen about you. am just afraid you got bullied. but what can i do? everything little thing i do, its a reminder of everything we had done before. I’m hanging on the cliff with one hand, the other is just you. i don’t know how long can i hold on before i fall off the cliff.

it’s painful, and just standing in this path, seeing you walking away to the other path. ever feel lost, look back. because I’ll be still standing at the same old place.

am still holding on

2009-11-28T23:45:00.001+08:00

yesterday, touch down in singapore, was hoping the moment i get out, I’m able to see her. but well , she was not able to come. i don’t blame her. and i was really worry abt her, as she fall sick. so i went to wait for her. wanting to see how is she. been calling her like mad. waiting and waiting. and still waiting. total time i waited for her is 10 good hour. at the end. she woke up and met her. went out to have good time. i miss the time together. really. i really miss it badly. and i saw her blog too. and only today, i found out there is another guy going after her as well. well, i do feel the fear. i’m really scare i will lose her just like that. i really don’t know what to do to let her come back. there are things i really will feel jealous. but al i can do is keep it. it really painful. everything has come back to square one. i really dont want to let go. she is really all i need. i want to tell her and express to her how much i love her. i really want her back. but i really dont know what to do already. trying so hard to be strong. but still felt so painful.

I LOVE YOU LIKE I ALWAYS DO!

2009-04-19T00:52:00.002+08:00

i really don't know what is goin on in you. when i call you, and you don't answer it, then when i asked, why didn't you answer my call? you can tell me that you don't feel like it. i never expect you to say that. I'm trying my best to make everything works, but after i send you home just now, i got home i saw my phone with your message. saying things like i'm that sort of guy. i already care about you giving in to you. but why i just want to react this way? or is it that you have already given up on me already? if so, do let me know, please don't let me be the last to know. i wish i can be there with you everyday like the past. but now, i've got something big to do, so that we can have a better future and easy life next time. i know you wanted to live in oversea. not that i don't want to go. but how can i leave now? i don't have money and stuff like that. if not that i don't let you go oversea study, if you go, who is going to take care of you? is not that i don't want to go over with you. but how can i leave when have contract with the army. i still have 3 more year to go. i just hope yo understand that if i choose to leave the army, i have to pay back to them. if i have the money i dont mind leaving. but now i don't. i will go anywhere with you after my service with the army.

for now i hope you understand that u have a training for a year. i do hope you support mr in this. i have gave up this before just for you. i know it's hard. i know you get tired at time and stress. but whatever i do, i don't mean to make you upset and stuff. i dont know why out relatioship will turn so sour. i also don't like to see the both of us like that. maybe everytime the way i say i love you is the same, and maybe you are bored to hear me say that, which became a normal thing to you and has no meaning in it. but deep down in my heart, i really do love you. you are just as important to me like the first time i told you how much i love you. my love has never change for you. i'm still the same. from here, i just want you to know, no matter what happen i will never give up on us. as i really love you. i want to walk this life with you. I LOVE YOU BABY!

something is missing I guess..

2009-01-02T03:32:00.001+08:00

here I am blogging after a long wait. now is like 3am in the morning and i can't sleep at the moment. came back home about 12am and was waiting for wifey to tuck me to bed. but, she don't seem to know that. wanted her to tuck me to bed she just said this ' later i got class in the morning. did she even realise that I'm accompany her while she was using the computer? I didn't tell her I was waiting because, I scare she will say, 'no one ask to to wait also what'. when she is angry or irritated all sort of things she will say it. when she is irritated she get to do what she want. and I have to give in to her. sometime I really don't know where my limits are. I really scare one day suddenly I will blow my top off she one day I decide not to take it anymore. everything when i want to tell her some things, and i said it nicely, she will talk back. i wish she could talk to me and discuss about it instead of getting mad at it. so, sometime i really don't feel like telling her. but at the end, i still want her to understand, so i have to let her know. i wish she could listen more to react instead of getting mad or throwing tantrum at me. it's not that i don't want to give in anymore, but the more i give in to her, and the more she wont learn. sometime i really want to ask her only, and she and to throw tantrum at me just because she felt irritated. i was like, it was not even me makin you irritated and do u have to do that to me. now most of the time. after so long. when ever we fight or wad, i wish you could come to me and hold my hand first. cos most of the time it was not my fault at all and i had to like go pls you, it's not that i don't wish to pls you or wad. i do get hurt too. i needed you to come to me too.

sometime i really felt lost, like i'm feeling right now. i wish you could just talk to me. talk about anything and everything. like even when you were using com, u did not even tell me.. i was sitting in the living room, waiting and waiting. came to the room saw u using com. u knew something was not right. you stop lookin at the com. and asked me if i was alright. but the moment i said i was ok, u turn to the com again. but in my heart i was like, u ask me i was alright because you had to had only..

now i even wish you could be me for a month, so u will totally know wad i am feeling at times. and i want to be you, jus had to go to school only. work sux.

well i still love you.. love you oriana..

happy new year!! hello 2009, happy 10th month anniversary wifey :p

2009-01-01T01:49:00.001+08:00

Here is my first blog for the 2009 entry. here is wish everyone here a happy new year. and may everyone do well and better than before.

Alright, here are list of things I want to complete in this 2009:

1. Get a driving license

2. Save at least $10k

3. New aviation sunglasses

4. No more fights in my relationship

5. New bags

6. More scuba diving

7. Learn kite boarding

8. Get to learn skydiving

alright these are things i wish to do or get in the year 2009.

wifey, it's been 10 month together already. I know it's not that easy to come this far. I will carry on loving you like how I always do. promise you to be better than ever or anyone you ever know. I never regret getting together with you. despite the fight we had in the past, I still love you. now we had come into this new year, let hold on tight and walk this tough road ahead together alright?

I hate television...

2008-12-25T16:54:00.001+08:00

alright as promise. the photo is here..

alright not even a TV. when TV it's on, ur eye will nvr look into mine. even when i talk to u, u had to wait till the tv part is not really tt interesting then u will then look at me. by then, i don't feel like saying anymore. I really try to be the best bf in the world u can ever find. i really hate to see you get mad at me and stuff. I truly love you. I love you so much that i don't even dare to make u angry. love you till that i really give in to u all the time.

sometimes i wonder if what i do is enough for you? because i want you to have the best of everything.

alright till here will do.. love you wifey.

I STILL LOVE YOU LIKE I ALWAYS HAVE

2008-12-07T04:22:00.001+08:00

like I say I still love you like I always have. sometime we fight, I know u hate to fight. I also hate to have the fight with you, cause end up we both get hurt. You always wanted me to give in to you when we always fight, I don't mind giving into you. but who give in to me? since when i ever throw my tantrum to you and get mad at you for more than 10 min? since when? I don't mind all these. I really don't, for a very simple reason, because I love you. when you love someone, you will have to accept everything of him/her. sometime if we were to bear with it for a while things wont turn out so badly as you though. sometime I really wanna get mad at you, but I controlled and think about it, like do i have to get mad about it? sometime things I said was not what you thing that way. I meant it well. my love for you never got worst. as each day pass, my love for you got deeper. all I hope for is when there is something wrong i hope u jus tell me and we talk it out rather than u keep quiet and start throwing tantrum. think about it, if it;s me doin all this, how u will feel, i always know when u get mad i jus keep quiet and try to cheer u up. something i just hope you will do the same for me, because i have something called 'feeling' in me. you might think i can handle everything, but i do feel lost at time. like when army stuff happen i just wish you could look me in the eye and listen to me. rather when tv is on ur eye are on the tv and u listen to me. if i do all these, how u will feel. i dare to say everything i do, i think about you first all the time. i not trying to compare that i'm better that you or what. i just wanna you to know sometime how i feel. i know sometime i very HB. i know it; my fault. i'll change. i promise baby, i promise you. so let head for a better future hao ma? love you lots wifey.

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS.

2008-11-17T14:50:00.001+08:00

things happen. We sometime wish we never do it. Yesterday, I went to wifey house use her notebook. wanted to login to my friendster, but guess what I saw? she never log out her friendster. so out of curiosity I click to view her message, and there were 3 trash message. one of them was by that Fucking !@#$%^&* which i hate him real lots. i was really mad at wifey. that she still reply tt @#$%^& message. i really can't take it. I almost break down,. but I had to control. till I reach camp. when it happen I just can't understand why she have to reply him. and I wasn't told at al. I said before, you better let me know what is going on rather than I find out myself. It really hurt real bad. think about now, it still hurting. but I still love you my wife.

I also wish we could be like last time like that, no fight and stuff. but last time we only meet in the weekend, that is why we don't even have have this money issue also. but I don't care. all I know I love you lots. I'm trying to change. I'm trying to joke more. so to make you laugh and smile. but wifey, can we joke that time you don't take it too seriously? I also don't wanna see you unhappy. from now on we start fresh hao ma? let's forget about the bad stuff k?

I love you Oriana.

You are still the best that I could ever had.

2008-11-07T23:33:00.001+08:00

wifey, I'm sorry that these few day never accompany you due to my duty in camp and was busy with army work. It's really glad that you understand that I have to do all these and you are always standing by my side. I really love you lots. I have never regret having you in my life and also part of my life. now I'm going to bed already, i only manage to sleep for 4 hours. am excited to see you tomorrow morning. can't wait for tomorrow to come. and now I'm going to bed already. good night my love. no matter what happen in this world, my love for you will remain the same.. I love you oriana..

I really got nothing to with with it.

2008-11-07T22:19:00.001+08:00

wifey, I really got nothing to do with that super wall thing. I just wanna explain things to do. because I really want you to trust me. cause all i left is you right now. I really don't know why the person will send that, I think the person send wrongly. but at the end of it, I really got nothing to do with you it. wifey you go to trust me.

and I was really sad that when I on the phone i trying to explain to you, you don't seem to believe me. I really don't know about the super wall thing also. you got to believe me. really. And I was really sad when you just hang up the phone call. you know i don't like you to hang up my call. ok, you say you not feeling well, can't talk. I understand. then on msn you just log out without telling me. once again, i felt so lonely. it just seem like no one is with me. i'm controlling the tears right now. as i really got nothing to do with that wall msg. and i really love you, i cant afford to lose you. do you think i will do all those thing to let you down? i really love you, you got to believe me that i have nothing to do with it.

2008-11-01T16:57:00.001+08:00

I really hate to see you get angry at me. wish you could just tell me what is wrong. I may be blur , dumb or stupid. but deep down in my heart I truly love you with all my heart. there are alot of thing which can be said, rather than getting angry at it. and at times I really don't mean to make u get irritated or nag at you. I really didn't know that when I was trying to tell you something, you would find that I'm nagging at you. but from my point of view I'm just trying to let you know. and I myself also got feeling which is also called temper or my limit. sometime when i do get angry, i just wish you could just talk to me till I cool down, instead of getting mad at me. you know when u get mad at me, my heart will just go soft on you. when you get angry, i really don't know what to do, i try to make you laugh and stuff, but sometime you get even worse. all the while I've been giving in to you. which i don't mind at all. but also i do wish you could just give in to me. and sometime i ask you stuff is i just wish to know and long for an answer that is all. then when you never answer me, of course i'll ask again, because i really want to know only. then when i ask too much you say i'm irritating, but in the first place when i first asked you could just answer me, then you won't get mad. then when you get mad it all became my fault. but i really love you lots...

P.S. this is just what I feeling right now. nothing much.

Happy 8th Anniversary

2008-11-01T16:39:00.001+08:00

it's been 8 month together already. there were up and down during the time we were together. but after all. it's still great together with you. now am at wifey house. wanted to go out real badly.. but, nvm.

like what I always said, I love you with all me heart. I'll take care of you till we grow old. swear to love you.

ROVE

2008-10-28T16:22:00.000+08:00

I really love this jumper from Topman. I REALLY WANT IT. I saw it yesterday at JUSCO shopping mall in Malaysia. *hint* hope someone will buy it for me. :) you know who you are. yes, it's you my wifey.

I really appreciate all the things you have done for me. really. wifey, you know just how much I love you. the kind of love I have for you is that no word can ever describe. because it can only be felt by you only. I know the fight we always had is just pain in the ass. because none of us wish to fight with each other. I know sometime, you just find me irritating and nagging. but sometime I really wish you could just listen to me. I'm really afraid to lose you. I just want you to know that sometime when I got angry, I really wish you could come over to me and Sayang me, till I'm ok. I just hope the both of us can give and take when we fight. For instant, like sometime, you want something, but I really don't want to buy, because I kinda like broke already, then I also don't wan to tell you I like broke already, because I'm really afraid that you will say that I'm irritating all these. and at the same time I don't want to disappoint you as well. I'm really afraid you will get angry all these. I may seem to be like nothing has happen, that is because I kept everything to myself. because I know when I tell you, you will just get mad at me, then we will start to fight again. I just hope in future if we have any disagreement, we could just talk it out, instead of getting angry at each other. Despite all these, I LOVE YOU. But no matter what, I'll never leave your side. I promise you this.

you're the only one that made me fall so deeply in love. I love you Oriana wifey.

THE GREAT LOVE THAT YOU GAVE

2008-10-13T03:42:00.001+08:00

Now is Monday. hmm should say yesterday. Yesterday, Sunday went out with wifey family,.was wifey dad's birthday. we went out to celebrate.was also their family day for them. was really glad that able to gel with wifey family. at first went to wifey house first to meet her and her sibling. headed to pan pacific hotel to get wifey dad a birthday cake. after that we headed down back to century square to print out some photo for her dad by luvy. so funny while printing out the photo. because we had to put in a name so that once the photo is ready for collection they know who to contact.. so all sort of funny name just came out. and we had to wait an hour in order for the photo to be ready for collection, while waiting we went for lunch. after that headed back to wifey home and wait for her dad to come back home from golfing. while waiting we fall asleep in the living room. the four of us, me, wifey, luvy (wifey sis) and gideon (wifey bro). waited till about 4pm like that then we went out to celebrate went to bottle tree park at yishun. had dinner there, and had lots of fun there as well. we played bumper car, and had a swam ride on a big pond. while riding the swam we had this small little competition, whoever reach the end line will have reward. took lots of photo as well..and all of us went to GV at yishun for a movie.. really really enjoy myself.

alright that was all for the day...

Wifey, this is for you.
what is love. I really don't know what was true love before. trying all ways to find the meaning of love. I've been searching it for so long. but, i didn't know what was it. finally, when I met you, oriana, my wifey, my baby and my everything. it was you that made me understand and truly feel what was love all about. my love was so true to you, that I wanna make you mine now and forever. the love you gave me was so real. so real till I will never let you go. I promise you with all my heart, I'll take good care of you, love you with all my heart. take care and stay by your side when you are sick or healthy, rich or poor. wifey thanks for all the love we had share together. lets face the future together and lets build a beautiful life together. love you

Hubby R.... love you.

now photo of the day....

alright from all these photo, you know how much fun we had for the day:)

wifey, I LOVE YOU

What Hurt The Most..

2008-10-08T14:25:00.000+08:00

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

this is part of a most which say some of the feeling I'm feeling it now. just had a fight with Baby Nana. I really hate fighting with Baby, because we both end up really hurt. And it's not we both want it also. whatever I do, I really meant it well. I really don't mean to hurt you. But no matter what I'll still hold on so tightly to you and to this relationship. enough said of all this.

move on to other stuff now. well, last Sunday went to zoo with wifey, had fun there. the zoo really had lots of changes. had great time there even though is like me and baby only :) here are some photo that we took on our zoo outing.

why tt look?

ain't that lovely?

all that is all for the zoo trip..

P.S. no matter what, be brave. I will always be there for you. I will love forever.

LOVE IS GREAT WHEN IT'S YOU, ORIANA!

2008-10-03T10:59:00.001+08:00

well. now am here to update blog again. on the 1st Oct was me and baby 7th month together. so during my stay in Brunei I've already plan to do something on that day. So I plan a dive activities at Singapore underwater world. why I plan this is because all along baby wanted to do diving with me. so I decide to do that. baby was nervous at first at the dive trip. as she had never done diving before. but really a enjoyable dive trip with baby. get to hold her hand in the underwater world. and also that people see us in the water. those in the tunnel seeing fish is just so normal. we get so close. and also was my first time diving in Singapore underwater world. but wasted, that i never buy a underwater camera, if not can take lots of picture during our dive. and after the walk around the underwater world awhile. we get to do so much thing in the diving la. and after our dive we went to dolphin lagoon.

here are the photo:

I'm back. FIANLLY!!

2008-09-28T05:00:00.001+08:00

just got back from Brunei for training only.Went away for 20 days. was a tough one. cos I wasn't really prepare to go. cant bear to leave my wifey nana in Singapore. i called her whenever i call when i was in brunei. these 20 days was really a challenge to the both me and my wifey nana. cos this is the first time i had to like leave her side for 20 days. and during these 20 days, 5 days i can't call her due to out in the field. so was really a tough one to go thru with it. And there are so many thing i want to let my baby know, and also there seem to be alot of thing i want to say to my baby. but, i don't seem to find the correct word to tell her. in general is i miss her and i really love her alot. but deep down in my heart, i feel there were so many thing inside. when even we talk over the phone, i kept saying i miss her and i love her.. but i really do.. baby, deep down inside my is really alot of thing de. hope u feel it. when arrived at the airport was so happy to baby la.. i wanted to run and hug her tight.. but baby parent was there, so ya. and also our plan was she pick me up then she will spent the night over my place, but her parent was there also so wifey nana parent send me home then nana cant stay over my place le.. den i showered, tot maybe abit later baby can come over le. but after i showered, i called her, and she was tired. so had to wait till she is awake then we are able to meet up again. and actually i'm really tired after all the travelling in brunei and the flight de. but i'm afraid i'll sleep too long. so i rather not sleep and wait for baby to be awake first. in my heart i thought baby can wait awhile more, but i also heart pain to see her so tired. so i told her better go and sleep.. cos at the airport she told me she will wait de. but i knew it.. i know she already tired already. so ya.. hope time pass fast now. so i'm able to meet baby in the morning, as in later in few hours time. now i don't know what time i have to wait until. hope it be real soon.

had my birthday celebrated in brunei. was really a boring one. had nothing much to talk about brunei. shall end here already. shall carry on waiting already.. take care. love my wifey lots.. am finally back..

P.S. Glad to see u after these 20days. wanna hold u real tight in my arm. really.. love you lots.. my love for u is never ending.

IT'S OUR 6TH MONTH!! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.

2008-09-01T00:30:00.001+08:00

today is the OUR 6th month anniversary. it's been great half a yr together. even sometimes things don't turn out the way we want it to be, still, i love her. it's has been a rocky 6 month together. the fight we had, it's countless. like what i said, since the day i told you i love you, ever since that day, my love for you has never change.as each day pass by, i fall really deep in love with you.

I've have never mind about the tantrum you had threw them on me, the kind of things that made you mad about. I had never mind about all these, all I want was you to be really happy when we are together, because you're the one that I love so much that I really can't live my life without you being by my side. baby I LOVE YOU..

this is the message from you on msn:

Hubbie,
Happy 6th Month (:
I'll always love you more than anything in this world.

Nothing in this world can pull us apart cause we are sticked together by the bestest super glue.. I'm sorry for all the TANTRUM and FIGHTS. I know I'm always the one who made you worry and that explain why sometimes you're anxious/angry with certain things I do. But.. I would like to thank you as well. For loving me so so much, more than anyone would, protecting me no matter what takes you and taking such good care of me.

XOXO,
Nana wifey

ok here is a video.. made for her.. and also which make her tears..

6th month

alright.. and here are all the 6th month anniversary celebration photo.. its our movie at fort canning park..

alright this is all about that night..

really love you baby.. lets hold on tight and go through whatever come in our in future.. love you baby, once again, happy 6th month anniversary.. muackzzzzzzzz huggies..

HAPPY TOGETHER

2008-08-31T11:21:00.000+08:00

Had a great time ytd with my lovely wifey. ytd the event was plan by her, and without me knowing it. we spent our evening at fort canning park to watch 2 movie tt is provided by golden village. the first movie was 'make it happen' and the other was the U.S version of 'my sassy girl'.though the movie sound was not as clear. still I enjoy the company of my baby.. it was one unforgettable night. time pass really fast, one blink is already half a yr together already. but i know her much more than jus half a yr. it was really not easy to come to this stage. things happen, but we face it together. baby, i love you. thanks for ytd night.

looking sweet:)

just the both of us.

it was just one great night we had together. thanks baby for the things u done for me. in fact thanks for everything u done for me for the past half a yr. really lookin forward to the future and the road ahead of us.. love you baby..

HOMELESS

2008-08-18T00:44:00.005+08:00

today afternoon had a fight my dad... which now cause me to be homeless already. he said i always treat house as hotel. but does he ever know tt when i'm home is only weekend and also when i'm home he is not. so den we started fighting, and i ahd enough also.. which i can live on my own.. since i've been getting on his nerve like wad he said.. so now he dun have to bear with it anymore.. FROM NOW ON I'M NO LONGER HIS SON!!! fuck off asshole.. had enough of sayin all these shit....

suppose to be sleeping which i promise baby..

but i jus cant sleep and needed time to be alone.. so ya.. jus now baby send me back to camp, which was really nice of her doin all this.. on the way of baby sendin me home was actually kinda upset ar.. cos i took her hp, wanted to take a pic on the bus de.. but dun know why i jus went thru her contact in her hp. saw something which realy upset me, further more after wad happen today at home.. she got this friend which i dun know wad is the name.. she name it as 'baby'... she told me everyone call him baby.. and she save my name as 'baby R' in my heart i was really upset already.. i mean she can save tt guy name as wad his name were.. does is have to be 'baby' ? and also i ask her the the question if i were to save a girl number name as 'baby' too how would she feel? ever thought everyone call her 'baby'?...

but in my heart i know baby wont do such thing to me.. i know she loves me... but i'm just scare tt baby will leave me one day.. i'm really scare to lose her.. i cant afford to lose her..

baby, i wanna say sorry for being moody today, because of wad happen today at home, and u was there,so u know wad happen.. and baby, i love you no matter wad happen in our relatioship.. i will hold on tight to our relationship.. i have nvr let lose of our relationship, i hope u know all these... thanks baby for being there for me when i needed u the most.. i'm really glad to have you in my life.. i want you to be the one in my life.. promise me u will nvr leave baby..

I LOVE YOU ORIANA!!!

back to camp.

2008-08-14T23:45:00.002+08:00

was finally back to camp. but did nothing.. whole day jus spent sleeping. sleep till baby got angry.. and now she still throwing tantrum.. because jus now i book in after having dinner with her, she called me 3 time on my phone, but i cant pick it up. cos i was talkin to my sir, and also for some reason and she knows.. i know baby, u are tired tt is why when u call i nvr pick up u very like irritated tt i nvr ans it.. throwing tantrum is alright. i understand u had a whole day out.. i'm ok.. hope u dun be unhappy again ar.. who says i dun bother about u ar. i do ok.. i called u back as soon as can already ar..but i abit sad is when u text me the F wording to me. u know i dun like to hear those word from u ar.. baby.. dun angry already k? den i tried calling a few more time u didnt ans and or even text me, guess u are already sleepin already.. i guess i got to call again tml.. wanted to say good night to u.. but didtn had a chance. so i type it here, hope u will see it.. "good night baby, love u lots.. and i'm sorry to make u mad at me again.. i dun mean it also.. u reat well tonight, i'll see u tml after u end ur work.. nite baby.. love u lots.. baby, sorry" now back to my blog.. today went out after my day in camp. meet baby after her work, head down to airport to have dinner at fish&co.. den took a few pics.. haha.. had great time with her.. it's always having great time with baby, even she angry at me or throwing tantrum at me.. i still have great time with her.. i stil love her lots...
tt is all i got to say for tonight..

baby, thanks for the letter u wrote for me..really mean alot to me.. i really cant live my life without you. i love u baby.. thanks for the love u shower on me.. u nvr fail to do so.. even when u are mad at me or wad, u still love me like how u always do.

here are the pic we took today..

me drinking water from the merlion.. cooling water. will fly after drinkin.. its located at the airport

our way back.... i hate this part of goin home the most becuse i dun wan to be apart with baby..:(

done by baby:) happiness and smile:P

again....... a drawing by my silly(:

baby attachment at call centre.

Day at Hay Dairies Goat Farm.

2008-08-10T23:03:00.002+08:00

Today when to hay dairies goat farm in the morning. met baby at 7 am in the morning.was actually coming over to my place to rest first. den i suggest tt we go goat farm, and baby say ok.. although both of us were tired, but still we had fun there. we saw how they pump out the goat milk from the goat, and after tt we went to the barn to feed the goat. had really lots of fun there. see baby smile so happily while feedin the goat makes me so happy. know she actually kinda scare to feed the goat but some were really cute tt she jus forget the fear and went ahead to feed the goat. after tt we when to achorpoint to have lunch. was this mickey mouse place there. we saw it on tv tt is why went to try. but the food dun taste tt nice as we thought. but the place was really really cute. here are the pics of our day today....

getting milk from the goat..

baby feeding the goat:)

the goat having sex..

the goat fight!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!

2008-08-09T01:28:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 43rd BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!

just came back from NDP 08.. first time present at national day. it was so different from watching it at home. thanks to baby tt i got ticket to this year NDP.. thanks baby.. muuuaaacckzzzzzzzz!!!! was there with galvin.. ya, just the both of us.. saw my unit guy.. kinda sad tt i didnt get to march.. :( but nvr mind.. the weather wasnt good today.. was expecting the NDU to fly the para-motoring. to see how good they are at.. due to the rain, they cant fly.. but lucky the red lion still can jump ar.. the best was the black knight fly pass.. it was totallly cool.. i shld be a pilot ar.. haha.. for the monment tt i watch tt only.. haha and the fireworks was really awesome... oh during the ndp, was hungry.. den when i turn to my right, i saw this aunties eating wan ton mee... i was like.. they came prepare ar... haha.. den next monment i saw this aunties in front of me eating burger king.. the smell was so strong la..den i nth to eat already. den me and galvin was like give it to them la.. den was guess tt dun tell me the malay next to us eat nasi lemak.. who knows, they really eat nasi lemak in the evening la.. so funny. if i got a chance to go again, i will be prepare la.. wont lose out de.. haha den after the NDP was really another problem, the goin out part.. was really packed can move at all la.. den still so hungry.. den walk one big round go back to marina square to eat dinner.. at the same time wait for baby to end her duty.. after she end meet up with her, den she tell me wad happen today during her tour of duty.. stupid malay from the military tryin to be funny ar.. baby already told him to get lost and stuff he like playin a fool like tt.. those from other unit like wad, dun know where baby bf come from ar.. nvr die b4 ar.. haha.. jus making a fool out only... stupid.. ok. think i shall stop here.. uploading all the pic and the video.. enjoy ppl.. :)

the super puma tt bring live telecast on tt day..

the F1 power boat!! was so cool to see one

forming og 08 by the F1 power boat!.

the RED LION!!

the marching in.. look water gun. haha.

top view of the parade..

commando!! best combat unit.. wish was there with them

the black knight

the fly pass...

HERE it has come to an end of the NDP with all the money tt singapore has pay.. the tax money!!

I WANT MY SATURDAY BACK!!!

2008-08-08T12:07:00.004+08:00

now am at home doin nothing. jus call baby and she is doing her attachment.. kinda sad when she told me her working hour for her attachment. past 3 month or so, all the sat she has been spent doin ndp. so alot of weekend end is gone cos sunday i need to book in to camp so i dun like to travel to town cos later need to ruch back all these.. which i dun really like..now baby got he working hours for her attachment already.. her attachment is 9 week but 7 week of the attachment of the sat she got to work. which mean weekend gone again.. i dun blame her for all these. cos i know its not wad she wan it this way also.. so i understand.. but deep down in my heart, i'm really upset when she told me she got to work on the weekend again. we really very long nvr go out late on a sat already..... i miss those sat tt me and her spending it together. all the while when she go for ndp on sat, i dun mind pickin her up sendin her there and stuff.. and i jus stay at home rotting.. i dun mind all these. so long she is happy and seein her with a smile on her face. i'm more than happy already.. now i jus got to endure another 7 more sat den we can go out on sat again.. now maybe will wonder why sat.. cos weekday i'm in camp. not every time i get nights out. but even i ge it its like a few hour.. at least sat i can spent the whole day with baby.. i really miss her alot.. even sometime i dun know why she throw her tamtrum for.. i'll still give in to her.. cos i know she is the one in my life.. i really love you baby.. i know sometime my words nvr go thru my brian den i jus speak it out, will hurt u, but baby, i really dun mean to hurt u de... u know how much i love u, u think i will wan to hurt u.. cant even wait to sayang u still want to hurt u? sometime baby u are realy silly eh.. but i like it.

ytd also went to bishan to clooect ndp ticket after picking baby up from work.. had dinner at J8.. and went to do something real nice and sweet:) i love spent time together.. seein u doin nice stuff.. no matter wad we do, i still love the time we spent together.. here are the pic..

look the serious look:).. hahaha

my creation!!

baby creation...... love love muackzz.

ytd wan on msn with baby.. using video call.. and also use music mix.. den baby upload a song, den i do the action hehe.. baby silly start to tears..

tt is all for now..

p.s baby, no matter what happen i still hold on to u real tight..

it's been a long time...

2008-08-07T14:19:00.001+08:00

nothing much to write cos too many thing happen also.. so ic will tell wad i have been doin for the past 1 month? now have to update my blog and log a few pic. cos baby wanna me to do so. and yes i miss her too much already.

baby, wanna me to buy this red swim trunk a take a pic with it de.. was force o do it de. well, it look good as well i mean the colour.

we got our hair cut after the swim and also cut it together..:)

a dinner with it prepare by me and baby. i miss the dinner. wish to had it once more..

on one of the day tt we went to toy museum.. had lots of fun.

my child hood time once again.. haha

the drwaf.. haha

the biggest remote control toy. and also ths first in the world if i'm not wrong?

our night at zouk:)

baby i jus wanna say i love u lots..

couple tee:)

alright tt is all i got to upload:)

injure

2008-07-14T08:45:00.003+08:00

am injure once again. this time am on 4 day of mc.. last week also.. nothing much happen.
last friday was in camp havin happy hour.. i tot will end early.. didnt know it will end tt late. and had to let baby wait for me for an hour. and she did not even throw a single tantrum. baby, i know u change alot for me. love u baby.

again.. saturday, i'm alone. my baby went for the ndp08 again. only able to meet her after the whole thing end... didnt know what to do on sat. was really bored. all i can do is wonder what my baby is doin only. i miss her lot la.. still got 4 more ndp to go.and even i meet her after the ndp was like a while only. cos its really late by the time it end, i wish i could have more time to that. but i kow she is tired already so need to get mote rest.

even we both are together for 4month plus now.. my love have never change toward you. i know sometime its hard on you. i know sometime my word could have hurt u in somw way. but still our love was the best thing in this world have ever gave to me. i love you baby. like wad i said on sat night after ur ndp, never mind what has happen in the past, i never leave ur side at all.., all the while i'm there for you. i'm there physically, if not i'm just a phone call away. i dont stay far away from you. jus 2 bus stop away. less than a kilometer away from u. i have never been too far away from you. you know i always care for you, always want to see u put on a smile.
P.S i want to owned u in all ur facebook photo ar..

2008-07-05T16:07:00.003+08:00

wow... it's been a month i since update my blog.. today it's sat and i'm stayin at home. cos baby is involved in the NDP thing this year. so ya. i actually got to ticket for today show.. i got 2.. but no one goin with me.. cos at the same time i wanna see if i can get to meet my baby.. tt is mainly why i wanna go ar.. jus last sunday me when malaysia with baby and her family.. was kinda cool.. it was like the first family trip like tt.. haha. sum more is with my baby parent.. hehe.. and also during the past one month went sentosa with baby also.. we when to take cable car with baby is afraid of the cable car.. cos of the height.. was so good to have baby around... not use to it like weekend like today baby not beside me.. i always love to have baby around me.. i felt so lucky to have her with me.. although we only got together 4 month only.. but still... 4 month is not long nor short.. plus even b4 we get together, we already like a couple already. cos of things we go thru together. i know i made a right choice to ask baby to be with me.. cos she the one tt made me feel tt life is much more.. she fill up my life with lots of colour....

now wondering wad is baby doin.. was suppose to go to ndp show today de.. but no one go woth me so ended up stayin at home.. and i know baby was kinda disappointed tt i did not go.. so now i'm waitin for her to end the thingy den i'll go pick her up later... baby dun be angry k?

taken this pic in malaysia with baby..

heart shape tree tt baby saw while on our way to malaysia..

in cable car with baby.. she look kinda scare but still smile for camera.. haha

the starting of takinf the cable car..haha baby look funny la..

P.S : baby no matter what happen, i'll always stay be ur side and shower all the love i have for u. nothing is important than u. u're the most important person in my life.. do u know? all the small little fight we have, i know sometime i was my fault.. i know u do alot for me.. thanks baby for doin so much for me.. i cant live my life without u ar. i wanna spent the rest of my life with u.. i wanna walk down this road with u.. baby i love you.

Feeling lousy now!

2008-06-09T22:17:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time that i last update my blog. just came back home from seeing a doctor only. having fever and am throwing up.. got a MC that is why i'm home on a monday night. going to post some photo of past few week that thing i've done...

me and my buddy jo

me and my baby.

class 25

malcom and his wife

these are pic week on on 8 may which is me and my baby 100 day.. were at sentosa to play. had great time.

and aLL these were taken on 1st june with baby dads commpany lunch... at muthu curry.. shall blog till here.. waiting for my baby now..

love oriana

2008-05-25T13:51:00.000+08:00

this week was kinda a wonderful week to me.. cos even when i'm in camp, every single day also have nights out.. every nights out i'll meet baby de.. den one of the night out was havin dinner with baby parent.. was so NERVOUS la.. cos was kinda last min inform.. den i'm not prepare like tt.. but stll everything went well.. when on the way to meet baby parent my heart was beating so fast la.. nvr got so worried and scare b4 la.. to was first time meet parent de.. didnt know wad will happen next.. but lucky me, things went well.. and also.. on the day, baby went to remove her toe nail ar. was at her side when it was remove.. pretty scary actually.. also, when i was in camp, i use my hp to read baby blog.. she is jus sweet can.. thing she wrote in it like:

Baby....The fights we had, the hurting words I saidI never meant it that way.To me, you're more than just a boyfriendmore than someone who spend lots of money on memore than someone who give in to me in almost everythingYou are my everything.The one that I wanna cherish for my whole lifeshower you with all my love, care, concern and everything nice.How much I love you?You will never find any words to describe my love for you.This is how much you mean to me and how much I love you.P.s. I Love You, Randall Koh.

she is jus sweet can.. love u my baby.. love takin all those photo with baby..

and also we got 2 hamster also...was so sweet la.. shld have taken a pic with it..

also, now my 2.4km run can run less than 9 min.. so happy.. tot only in sec sch den can run tt kind of timing... hahaha

alright shall stop here already..

baby, like i said.. in this world, it was black and white before i met u. but things were so different after i met u. it was first fill with blue when i first met u. and when time past till now we got together, my world is so colourful.

without u, i'm nothing. baby, i love u forever..

i really cant bear.

2008-05-10T16:30:00.000+08:00

hey am finally back again. lots of things happen this week. baby tell she goin for oversea exchange programme for 4 month.. but.. she really want to go.. and i really cant bear to see her go.. really.. 4 month is not short time.. plus my trainin tempo has already pick up... i really feel like getting out of the unit i'm in now. when my baby tell me she wan to go, in my heart i was wishin that she can stay here. cos she meant everything to me.. and also i dun wan her to think i'm selfish.. so i only can say, go ahead baby.. but if she really go, i'll tears till my eye go blind.. i'm dead serious.. cos she really meant the world to me.. and my body is aching all over now.. due to trainin in camp.. really tired.. but today got to meet baby.. when i see her, all my pain jus go away.. everyday in camp wake up at 5.30 in morning. really cant take it ar..

baby.. i really hope u can stay.. not that i want to be selfish.. i jus wanna to spent every sec, every min, every hour tt i can with you.. i really dun dare to tell u all these. i'm scare u will be mad at me..it's not tt i dun wan to let u go.. but 4 month its really a long time.. u know baby, i love u so much.. i'll do anthing for u de.. u know me well..

2008-05-01T06:01:00.000+08:00

nth much to update.. jus that these few day on off only...den ytd night went to have dinner at gyu kaku with my baby and xian xu... here are the pic for the paas few day we took..
baby and xian xu
baby drawing
my baby creation:)

2008-04-29T05:22:00.000+08:00

now am back to update.. no time to update my blog past few day.. later evening goin for a concert with baby..

saturday went to MOS with baby and galvin.. and Galvin and his gf got abit of problem.. den when in the club saw baby calssmate.. and went to smoove together.. had fun there.. cos wanted to go there to celebrate of passing my selection... den sunday me and baby spent the whole day at my place till evening den she go for her dinner with her family.. den after her dinner meet up for movie.. watch superhero movie.. alot of the part was cut.. den make the movie really short... after movie send baby back home... den ytd night talk to baby on the phone tell her bed time story.. tell her story till she fall asleep a few time.. den ths morning meet baby again for breakfast at McDonald.. den came to my place awhile to play with my niece.. den after tt send baby to school.. later pickin her up again to go for dinner den we goin for concert..
shall end here.. nth to update already.

JSFS

2008-04-26T11:31:00.000+08:00

am back to update my blog.. been really long that i last update my blog. past 2 week was a tough week for me, cause i'm in selection. jus ended this morning only.. miss my baby so much when i was in the selection. while i'm not around she she fall sick.. heart so pain la.. and also i jus read my baby blog. was really touch of some stuff that she type.. and also during the selection was talking about those married stuff.. like what to prepare when getting married.. didnt know there is so much thing to do, and also it cost so much la.. like getting house, wedding dinner honeymoon and stuff la.. so now already am saving.. wanna give baby the best i have.. cos i realy see future in us.. nvr been so deep in love b4.. tot my future was so unclear. but my baby has already shown me my future. the future is jus in us already.. i will make tt day happen.

baby, always remember that what i have to give to you is the best that i have in me. and everything i do for you is the best of me.. i always cherish all the time that we spent together, when i need you to be there for me, you never fail to be there.. you're always there for me.. love you baby. i promise you that i'll take good care of you. you can put all your trust in me. i will give u all the happiness i can give to you i promise. i promise you even good or bad time i'll always be by your side.. loving you always..

feeling so scare now!

2008-04-14T08:44:00.000+08:00

am back to update again.. ytd went to MOS with baby and galvin, xian xu, sanjeet and benjamin.. had some drink there.. and dance there as well.. on fri also went out with baby, galvin and xian xi.. went to had some drink as well.. haha.. galvin gf face was s red after the drink la.. so funny.. here are some pic we took..

baby and xian xu.. face so red.

me and baby.. i love every moment tt i spend with u!

galvin and his baby

the lovely couple

xian xu and Oriana

haha. caught ya!!! haha..

ppl.. wish me luck on my selection ya? it from 14 to 25 april.. really want to make it to the special force ar..

baby.. will do my best and give it all for the up coming selection de.. love ya oriana..

finally am back to update..

2008-04-10T11:21:00.000+08:00

here to update my blog b4 baby start to say tt my blog rotting. haha.. basically whole of march i'm in thailand.. den i'm only back on 29march. i'm there for ATEC.. and den i'm back for 4 day in singapore b4 i when for bali trip.. during the for day i spent my time with my baby.. which was so wonderful.. i will nvr forget the day we spent together.. love huggin her to slp..watchin her sleep beside me.. and the best part, one of the night was kicked by her and scold by her which she didn't know until i told her.. haha.. it's so sad tt i have to go bali la.. i really cant bear to go at tt time.. even when i'm there.. i bring along the stuff tt she gave me.. really love her lots. den when i'm back meet up with her.. den went for dragon boating with her friend.. den tt day both of us went for movie.. was great to have her by my side.. i really dun know wad my life will be without her..monday will be my selection.. which i'm so scared.. if pass will be able to join the special force in singapore..

baby.. like wad i say to you and i promise, i will never leave your side no matter wad happen.. and in 5 yr time(you know).. love is so great with you.. each day tt pass, love for u will grow even more.. mauckz..

here are some pic........

Oriana, i love you.

2008-03-02T01:33:00.000+08:00

Now finally we are together. after so much we gone thru, after so many fight we had.. still, i still love u no matter wad.. when i'm away, i'm gonna miss u so much.. i will miss holdig ur hand.. miss ur hug, miss ur kiss, miss the time we spent together.. i will MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!!! you too take care when ya also in thailand.. girl, u have my words tt i will take good of u, protect you, shower the love on you.. i promise..i really hate to leave later la..i'm afraid later when i'm goin in to the flight area i will tears... girl, i'll see ya later.. muackz.. shall stop here already.. when i', back i'll go running towards you.. hehe.. love u nana.

2 days left, so little time to spent with u now..

2008-02-29T07:13:00.000+08:00

alright... just woke up after having from the fun last night.. ytd night then me and my friend suppose to go for a drink before we fly off to thai this sat.. but then when we meet up then say go club already.. then we went to phuture.. but the tic was sold out... the zouk not fun also.. then i saw nana classmate.. so then i text nana tt not goin zouk anymore due to the ticket was all sold out.. den she was already like she know already cos her friend cassy told her. since the tic was all sold out then all my friend went to MOS instead. den saw nana... haha.. when i alight from the cab i didnt see her at first till she called and say " not cold ar?". haha cos i was wearing a jacket then.. then i turn around den saw her aleady.. then i was kinda worry when she go club la.. really afraid la.. cos like suddenly lots of thing running into my mind like tt.. was with me friend at first.. then till dun know wad time.. me text her, den we meet up a smoove.. den there is when we started to dance... first time dancing with her ar.. heart was beating fast, as in real fast.. and also first time holding her so close.. tt is the kind of moment i wont forget ar... after dancing for kinda long.. i was really tired.. but nana was not.. haha.. den i think till 3 plus den me and nana when home together la.. we cab home to her place first. erm.... in the cab... ya, admit tt i kissed her, tt is all.... den send her home, was like so hungry too. text her..whether wanna meet again to watch sunrise.. haha.. den she is okay with it.. den we meet up at the sea sport club at 5.30am.. den sit down chat alot with her while waiting for the sun to rise.. haha. den the cloud was "blogging" la.. haaha.. is suppose to be blocking la.. jus wanna disturb nana when she say the cloud is blocking.. after tt we head down to white sand MaC for breakfast.. really enjoy the time tt i spend with her la.. and now tt i'm leavin singapore the day after tmmorrow.. i really wish i could spend more time with her la.. time is jus nvr enuf la.. i love the way she is.. sometime i jus love to see her get mad when i disturb her.. and too love her way she disturb me back.. and the way she smile.. and everything about her.. later meeting her for movie.. alright shall stop her already.. take care:)

loving you was the greatest thing in my life.

3 days left

2008-02-28T02:46:00.000+08:00

hello. just woke up, and also just greet nana morning.. she is on her way to her dad office.. hmmm... yesterday book out already.. reach home then play my flight simulation game the whole night till late.. about 3plus she called.. but i was already in the lala land... den lucky me tt i wont up and need to go to the toilet.. den i saw the msg and miss call.. she say she cant slp.. so i called back and acc her to chat on the phone for like close to an hour.. tell her bed time story she still cant slp, instead of her fallin asleep after bed time story, i was the one really closing my both eye... and also we talk abt how we first meet and stuff.. how we started to go out and what happen between us.. when i know her, i was only 18, she's only 17.. now tt i'm goin 20 and she's goin 19..time really pass fast... today not very sure of wad to do ar.. haiz.. she at night goin out to have fun with her friend... worry abt her goin club too, if she is goin ar.. wish can be there with her as well.. hmmm.. now time seem really short ar... leaving soon.. really cant bear to go..

alright CDO, here are pic of our outing..

more to come guys.. lets fight well and win BCU...

flying

2008-02-26T07:59:00.000+08:00

back to update again... if not let the bbq pork say.. haha.. went to song of sea with tt sweet and taste jus nice the bbq pork.. had a great day there too.. laugh the whole day la.. cos too much thing happen tt day went we when out.. too few pic.. and say take pic with her, den say got pimple den dun wan to take.. WAD SIA!!!! here are few pic of tt day..

all these pic was taken on the sky tower we took.. was very high up.. first time up there la... felt like i rule the world like tt.. haha... but if at night see better...

after these we went to watch 4D magic and the cineblat.. while watchin these 2 show.. we laugh alot la.. cos the bangala was so funny inside... hehe. den sort of know one of them ar.. haha.. den we walk around and stuff.. den we went to buy soft drink. we are suppose to finish the drink at one go.. to have tt funny effect la.. den he told me to buy sprite zero, which taste like shit la.. told her cold already she dun want.. haha.. in the end she cant finish too.. but the sprite realy taste like shit ar.. den we head down to song of sea.. my first time watching that.. here are pic of tt show.. should go watch ppl if u guys haven..

all the laser was so cool.. aiya. hard to say here ar.. go watch den u will know...

den ytd went to watch movie with girl.. watch L change the world.. i dun like to watch this kinda show de.. but she wanted to watch.. so ya.. i had to jus walk to the counter to buy tt tic.. haha.. den funny la... she say she wan popcorn den i go buy den come back she like angry at me sia.. haha.. den in the end find out tt i nvr ask her wad kind of popcorn she want.. haha.. but 'heng' ar.. i mix the popcorn ar... if not die ar.. cos i normally eat sweet de.. haha.. den ytd wanted to go watch airshow with her and her sis de... but al tic sold out.. (updating past few day stuff ar.)

den jus now she text me, but i was playin game.. haha.. playin flight simulation game.. den while flying tt game, i called her back.. scare she angry la.. den shey say "haven die ar" haha.. she funny la.. but she was out already.. den suddenly talk talk on the phone, dun know how come she bring out wad me and yijun stuff... but me and yijun are really nothing!!! now nana(bbq pork) abit emo ar.. but can see she care, tt is why she feeling this way.. hmmm..dun wanna ppl make others comment or get the wrong idea, so i took away anything t has yijun in it already.. so ya.. and also.. i found out who is crayon-shin on the tag already.. it's nana..

leaving thai this sat evening abt 6 plus... but i really do hope tt bbq pork can send me off.. cos this time round i'll be goin off for kinda long time...den when i return back, the next time i flyin off to bali...but really do hope to see her sendin me off

there is only one place in my heart, and long ago the place have already filled everything abt u. even though what we gone thru last 2 month, it has nvr change.. like others say, couple who fight is good... cos they vent everything out so each other will understand each other better.. although is painful in the process, but well, now is storm is clam.. i want to be the sun the shine ya life..

going thai soon ar...

2008-02-22T12:51:00.000+08:00

hey... back from camp again.. hmmm this week in camp had another outfield.. this time round the outfield was really a good one..but also course my back to ache... shit.. next fri goin thai already.. goin for one month plus a few day... going to miss alot of ppl la.. plus the food and the stuff here..going to make commando proud again... WE, are goin to be the best combat unit again for the 22nd time... "FOR HONOUR & GLORY" ok.. today book out went to beach road to buy some stuff... and den went for a show called "fool's goal" was show today only.. cos my and my camp mate dun know wad to do.. so go watch show lor.. but in the end dun know wad show to watch...

den jus anyhow choose one.. hahaha

back home finally..

2008-02-16T23:56:00.000+08:00

hmmm. jus got home from camp.. only had 2 hr of slp.. haha.. cant slp now, if not will miss my sis flight.. cos she goin back to london today already.. haix.. cant have fun with her this trip round.. camp got so many stuff to do.. ytd wokr up at 4.30am for the live firing.. haiz... till this morning 3 plus 4 like tt... tired man.. wad to do? i'm in the army.. hmmm.. my 2IC talk to me during the live firing.. ask me where i want to go first, ranger or SF selection.. he told me to go for ranger first den go SF selection in nov.. cos ranger course start june.. den he wish i could go for both within this year.. cos selection is 4 time in a year, where else the ranger course is only yearly thing...not sure of where to go..hmmm... yeah later goin out already.. finally. and flying to thai real soon.. haiz.. my flight i think my unit push 1 day earlier.. which mean i may fly off on 1 march instead of 2 march.. boring shit la.. haiz... alright think i'll jus stop here already... goin to slp while...

am back from camp for CNY

2008-02-10T03:26:00.000+08:00

hey ppl.. happy chinese new year.. just came back from camp. was in camp on standby during chinese new year..this year dun have the chinese new year mood ar.. cos was in camp for the first 2 day of the cny.. later be meeting my sis for dinner..read her blog... some time i jus dun get it.. maybe in the first place i shld not have fall for her ar... see when i read her blog... some stuff really hurt ar.. i know i have no right to bother wad she has to write... so after i read i i can do is pretend i know nth.. she will write some thing like she wish and tt.. like she wish there is some there for her.. stuff like tt... den he misses him or these.. i'm not sure wad is is writing.. if u ppl were me i believe u will feel the same as me... haiz... i really dun wan us to be like wad we are now also.. i'm realy lost of wad we are now alsoo... ya leavin singapore on the same day as me... haiz.. this yr my life has change alot.... alright maybe i shld let ya know also... if ya reading this blog of mine... b4 u i used to like a girl... i try to woo her for close to 2 yr.... i did my best to go for her.. do wad i can...she told me shes busy with sch and stuff like tt.. but end up,one day i read her friendster she got a bf... at tt time i asked myself, why cant she jus let me know tt i'm jus not her tyoe or stuff like tt. why drag till now.... i was mad a myself... so as time past by i start to forget and forgive her... den as time past.. i know ya.. den slowly know ya better.. when i first know ya, i know ya had a bf.... so it;s ok... told myself not to be carried away by u.. but, feeling are hard to control... so i started to fall for ya... but ya told me not to talk abt it, as it will spoilt the relationship between us...so i kept quiet... but sometime wad u wrote on ya blog, seem ya like u cant forget abt ya ex... i wish i could know more abt it.. i'm afraid to ask u.. as i scare u will be mad at me and stuff... so all i can do it keep it to myself.... i really wish u could be the one for me.. but ya told me friends loast longer than bf... which i agree.. but i wish i could be the one for u too...but it seem like i have to stop the special feeling for u... now we hardly meet.. and it really driving me crazy... like wad u said u not longer feel the same like how u uesd to.. in the first place i dun even know wad u feel toward.. in the plas i dun even know wad am i to u... i know nothing... all i know is tt in the past i can acc u the whole day.. doin stuff together.. maybe i think too much already.. i know is impossible for us to be together know... but i still hope we could still be like how we use to be like last time... really... goin out together.. doin stuff together.. alright shall stop here...

finally am back...

2008-02-05T08:02:00.000+08:00

been really long nvr come online already... com was down tt is why.. but during all these time.. many thing happen.. my sis iS back this time round for CNY together with her husband.. glad to see her back already..haix.. chinese new year i'm on standby... boring.. dun know know what to do in camp la.. haix.. alright shall write til here.. dun know what to blog abt also.. oh.. leaving thai in 2 march.. will bring back the best combat unit this time again..

I just cant forget about you

2008-01-06T17:17:00.000+08:00

why do we have to come to an end. i really dont want us to end this just like that. i do cherish the time we used to spent together all those thing we use to do. here i am to say sorry to you. SORRY girl. in which i have said anything to make ya so angry. girl i nvr control ya. pls dont get the wrong idea. and yes, i'm very sure that i like you girl. haiz. all i wish for is we could be like last time. i really dont wish to go thru what we are goin thru now. girl, i still love you no matter what..

REJECTED

2008-01-05T11:36:00.000+08:00

jus came back home from camp. this week was kinda easy week in camp. basically go back camp for out field only.. ytd afternoon went out field for trainin till this morning.. but my heart is not focus in this out field this time round.
asked her. no chance. dont feel anything. well, i respect her decision. but of cos deep down in me i'm hurt...but it's ok...stiill i seriously hope whatever happen in between us will not affect the relationship we use to have. i will not give up. hope ya readin this, and could hear from ya again. cos i know if i text ya, ya wont reply me. so all i can do is wait for ya. and also i will wait for the day to come.. nana, i will wait.. i want to be the one for ya. do u know how painful it is, when ya dun reply me. even when i'm out in the field ytd i bring along my phone. hoping ya will text me. but when the msg sayin "u dun know how to face me" i stop whatever msg i want to send.. still hoping to send ya name appear on my phone. now tt i fear of losing ya. cos that is the most painful thing that can ever happen. i dun even know wad to do now when i'm out from camp...alright shall stop here. all i want u to know that i seriously love ya. now i

First day of 2008

2008-01-02T03:31:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
it'a a brand new year everyone. whatever in the past let it be. now start afresh. hmmm. ytd went out to meet galvin and his cousin clarence at vivo city. shop and had our meal there. till about 7 plus 8 we went to clark quay. then i went to pick up new type of flying hobby. the kite that uses RC to fly type.while doing all these, i miss her la!! was so worry abt her last night. on the 5th of jan goin down to learn to fly that thing.. so ya.. den after all these went to meet up with some of my campmate to go countdown to 2008. was drinking also.. was together with my all time best buddy, his name is sunjeet. evern since the first day i enlist to army i know him already. guy shld know that in army they use double deck kind of bed. he always sleep on the upper deck and i sleep on the lower deck. then people always disturb us. cos he is kinda big in size, i'm very small compare to him. people always say that they worry i'm might die if i sleep on the lower deck, cos later the bed cant take his weight it might collaspe. haha.. but he is a very good friend of mine.
hmmm.. later tonight goin back to camp already. still must go cut hair later. cos this thursday got parade. haiz. short hair again:(

lets look back on 2007

2008-01-01T06:15:00.000+08:00

well, this year seem to be gone real fast. my life in 2007 is jus packed with army training, and also been 1year old soilder already. first 3 month of this year was pack with BMT training.

hair still look short..

our morning PT..

in these 3month learn lots of stuff. like how to handle a weapon, all the command in army.

and also made lots of new friend in army.. end of BMT was awarded with the best recuirt in my platoon.

after these 3month of BMT went on to leafer course for another 3month. and the 3rd month went to taiwan for the last phase of leader course. which we had our 11day out field. tt was the first time my whole life tt i didnt shower. and was VERY tired.

at the end of our 11day.

in this leader course learn lots of stuff. at then end of it we became 3rd sgt. and then went on to airborne course. this is what i look forward to most. jumping out of the aircraft. was the best course i attended in army.. haha..

this will be how it lok like when you're at 1000feet about the ground.

the first time i jump out i didnt know what is going to happen. cos everything happen to fast. the thing i hate most is the landing. VERY PAINFUL. but a few more jump helps alot. after airborne course went on the battalion for training. and at the same time prepare for 72km route to be a operational Commando. 72km was not easy. first is the distance, second is the load u carry, and third is the hour we got to walk. but there is one more thing that help me to complete this 72km was that i know SHE is in my camp waiting for me to march in and see me don my red beret.

the opening of the presentation

me and my parent

me and nana. her sis was there as well.

so basically this year my life is jus packed with army. also i'm still waiting for her. i know i love her, i know i miss her. for all i know she has become part of my life. alright shall stop here,, goin to meet galvin now.

miss you

2007-12-31T07:51:00.000+08:00

just bored so decide to do something. also use blog to upload photo. so my campmate can grab photo here. dont have to send thru email or msn.