day and day has pass. well, it's has been more than a month. i still have not let it go. i cant bear to. i know i do get jealous. that is why i rather not hear from you nor see the stuff from you. i still wish on those special event i still get to be with you. i dont wish to see you as a party girl. but, well i dont have any say. i think ytd you really had a misunderstanding of me. i really do wish to see you. because i was really waiting for you to ask, if u can come over already.but.. well. things has nvr gone well for us. i miss the old self of you. i miss the time we dont know how to party, dont know how to shop. the pure us. but, guess u wan to have all the fun. want to make all the mistake and learn from your own. instead of me nagging. just dont wish to see u getting hurt or being felt left out, tt is why.
saw your miss call an saw your message. what do you mean by it? never want to ask. didn't know what you trying to mean. DVD session? am still waiting. didn't know when you are going to meet or what. didn't want to ask, as i don't want to be the one to rush you. day and day I've following you. always wanted to know how have you been. christmas, was just another day for me. wanted to be with you. place booked way back. but, never expect things to happen. when i look back. the picture of you and that guy just keep coming. like how you got the love bite. both of you actually kiss. this has been hunting me. but still i love you.
days has pass. time has come. day and day. all the flashback keep comin back. all i done just hopin you know how much you mean to me in the past. hoping you will stay by my side no matter what happen.
i still cant accept the fact that you fall for someone else. its just kill me. i cant accept the fact that you started to smoke. its just get me really sad. i did what i could to tell u don't smoke. yet you don;t listen. do you know how much i still love you? how much i want you back here. but, look at yourself? you've change. you never wanted to smoke in the past. you always listen. and not saying those vulgar word. look. i just don't know anymore. everything i do always surround with you. i want to be strong in front of you. but, i guess i am no longer the one that u wan anymore. you don't love me anymore.. you just want more fun in this life while you can. so have all the fun that you can. go with who ever you want to be with. give them what they want and need. because to me right now, I'm already fading out of your life. you don't need me anymore.
all i though when we are together, you are happy. happy that we are always together. but guess that is not the way you wanted. I'm sorry that i cause us to be like this. i just wish time could jus go back now. but guess i'm too late. there are alot of flashback i'm having everyday. i rally don't know what to do.
been really busy. busy with stuff. busy to sort my mind out. trying real had. the harder i try, the further you are. I'm lost. lost of what i should do. I want you so badly. but seem like, it's all over, i can't accept it. but. I think I should get a life. all the best to who you want to be. guess you are happy that i'm no longer by your side. you can do what you want to do. and yet no one nag at you. take care from now on. I'm already walking away from you.
whenever you sms me, or when i really got thing to do, you will keep thinking that you are disturbing me, but you're not. and was hoping we could talk more on the phone seeing you sms in the morning. but all these when i try, all seem to be so cold. I'm really worried about you each and everyday. But just that when i try to see you of what you are doing everyday, wanting to crack jokes with you, and to me you seem to be those can't be bother about me. so at the end, I really don't know what to say.
I know that you are going on holiday. I don't know how to tell or say this to you, I will miss you. even though we are far apart now (really apart) I will hold on to you, and be strong everyday to move on happy. I don't want to let you see the weak side of me anymore, I want you to know that you can count on me and lean on me. Please do take care when I'm not around you. I'm just a phone call away.
P.S. you're not bothering me when you called. In fact, all these while I'm waiting.
I'm an only human. There is so much I could do only. All I could do now is watch and be there. looking at you. do you ever felt the pain? I am true. but yet, the way you look at me. thinking I was bad, thinking I am lying. well, the truth sure will be uncover one day. All those friend telling you what i am. well, they don't know me and you do know me. you know me deep inside. I'm sad, when you needed someone, but you don't look for me anymore. you look for people who can let you feel better at a point of time, but not letting you know what is good for long term. that is why some time i nag so much. i want the best for you for our future. take a look back of you. see how much you change now? how much pain I can take. now the pain is there, but I know I can't do anything.
Today was another history made. It was Commando 40th Anniversary today:) was an awesome display today. After the parade, went for dinner with Alex, Wei siong and Kelvin. after that we didn't know where to go and yet still want to hang out so catch up with each other. so we when to prawning.
I sms-ed. you seem to be don't care. called, and no answer. I do want to show you I care. but never mind. you take good care alright? and please sleep early tonight. Tml sch at 8 think you should be up at 5.30.
Angel please be there for her tonight to protect her from the night mare. and also tell her i care.
P.S. It's ok if you don't feel like talking to me tonight, there is always another day.
